Sun 11th Jan 2015: Hip Op Day +2:

At 5.30 am I get coffee, biscuits, drugs and an ice pack. I settle down to read H is for Hawk. Breakfast is at 7.30. A nurse then helps me to shower in a chair. I feel fresh and clean afterwards.

At 9, Cesc arrives and we do crutch work, first along the corridor, then up and down the stairs, with and without the aid of the banister. I sweat a lot and feel worn out but I punch the air because I feel that I have achieved a lot in a short time.

When I get back to the room, I lie back and listen to the music channel. Still no movement on the toilet front.

The morning sun pours through the window. There is pink blossom and red berries in the garden.

The cleaner comes to clean my room. She is from a family of seven children. Her father comes from a family of thirteen. They are Irish Catholics. She says that she and her husband were born at the hospital when it had a maternity wing.

Then it’s time for Sunday lunch: a turkey roast with cranberry sauce. Even better, a successful motion follows this.

I try to get back into bed on my own but end up like a twisted log splayed across the mattress.

Ring my sister in Boston to let her know how things have gone and ask her to tell mum and dad that I am fine.

Half an hour later, Jenny arrives with power drinks and a huge Toblerone followed by Jane who is just in time to catch Salvador Dali’s last visit. He says that I can go home. He explains the type of hip that he’s fitted and how worn out my old one was. It had been deformed by teenage athletics, particularly long and triple jump with the old cinder runways and raised wooden jumping boards. Do you think I might be able to claim for damages from the County?

After he has gone, Rory Bremner, the anaesthetist, comes in to say goodbye. I tell him that I have been singing his praises to all of my friends.

The discharging procedure starts soon after. I am given drugs, an ice pack, surgical stockings, a walking frame, crutches and appointments with the physio, the consultant and our local surgery nurse (to take out the clips on the 23rd Jan).

When I am dressed, I am taken to the car in a wheel chair down a gritted disabled ramp. It is agony getting into the car. On the way back, the road bumps make me groan.

At home, Jane builds up an armchair with cushions and I sit in front of the TV and watch 22 Jump Street which is funny but goes on for far too long.

At bedtime, Jane prepares a wheat pack, an ice pack and banks up my pillows. Then she disappears to Hannah’s bedroom. It doesn’t seem right.

I read H is for Hawk before I fall asleep. Wake at 2.30 and go for a wee. I manage to get myself back into bed. I am very proud of myself.